who's blessing you?

Truth moment: I've had trouble this year getting into the Christmas spirit.  

It may have been that I spent 3 weeks in November visiting orphanages and seeing the basic needs of so many go unmet. The day I came home I went to the mall and ended up crying in the food court. We’ve got it all wrong, was all I could think as I watched people scurry from store to store searching for what they wanted.  I am not generally a crier and was pretty much appalled at myself.  I haven’t been back since.  

I usually love Christmastime because it’s so warm and cozy.  I love snuggling up to loved ones, eating good food, and enjoying life.  The idea that Christmas is excessive is certainly not a new one, but this year I couldn’t quite get comfortable.  I’ve been thinking about the orphans I met a few weeks ago, and wondering what Christmas will be like for them this year.  I’ve been asking God why He is breaking my heart in this way, and what He may be trying to tell me this Christmas. 

He's been telling me about John the Baptist-- how the Christmas story begins with him, and how speaking truth is not a popular message.  He's revealed to me the gentleness of Mary-- the wonder of a heart bent to serve God alone, no matter what society thinks.  

Maybe the best thing God’s been telling me is about blessedness.  It’s easy for me to look around at my loving family, delicious food, and mountains of presents, and see it as God’s gift to me for not doing anything too terrible this year.  I start to believe my comfort is God’s blessing.

But I've been feeling a little funny when people ask me what I want for Christmas and I can’t think of a single thing I need.  Directly after the Christmas story, the Bible tells me that if I have two shirts, I should give one away.  I look at my closet and start to get a little fearful.  I can rationalize and context the command all day, but if I’m honest, it scares me.  I wonder what God thinks about our tradition of giving gifts to celebrate the day He entered the world?

This got me thinking.  I love telling people how much God has blessed me.  He’s given me great family, friends, job, house, car, and even a cute little dog.  I’m never hungry and I don’t need anything.  I’m quite comfortable.  But is that God's desire for me?  The Bible says “Blessed are the brokenhearted” and that it's hard for the rich to see the Kingdom of God.  What then, does that make me?

Christmastime seems to rip open the wounds of the brokenhearted and throw salt on them.  These are the people we feel sorry for this time of year.  The ones who are alone, the ones who are hungry, the ones without gifts.  But yet, these are the people God is drawing near to this Christmas-- not those who are sitting comfortably and in need of nothing. 

Do you see it?  So many of us have cushioned ourselves to the point that we don’t need God.  I’m beginning to thank God for my broken heart, because He is the one who gives me comfort.  He let’s me fellowship with Him when I draw near to Him.

I see blessedness differently now.  No longer do I want to naively believe that comfort and easy life are the ultimate blessing.  Being blessed means having fellowship with God.  Whatever allows me to be near to Him is what I desire most.

I pray this Christmas that your blessings have come from God, and not from what the world has to offer.  If your heart has broken this Christmas, remember that the God of the universe humbled Himself enough to enter this world in the most lowly of circumstances, just so that you can know Him.  Draw near to Him-- He will comfort you and you will be blessed.