waiting for God.

I’m in a season of hearing God tell me to wait on Him.  For a person who likes things to be “right”, this is a hard command-- trusting an unseen God in the face of real life questions, and feeling as if I am doing nothing to fix them. 

As I drove to the post office this morning in a car that I feel needs to be sold, the engine sputtered for a moment, and I couldn’t help but cry out, “Do you see me??  Do you care?  How am I supposed to wait on You for a car when mine is acting like this?”  It felt like the cherry on my “wait for God” sundae, and I wasn’t in the mood.

When I got to the post office, I got in line behind an older gentleman who kept turning around to look at me.  I smiled in what I hoped was an “I’m a nice person, but I’m not in the mood to chat” kind of way, and looked away.  No dice.

“I promised myself 60 years ago when I left the Navy that I would never stand in line for anything ever again,” he began.

Great, someone who can teach me patience.  “How’s that been working out for you?” was all I could think to say.

“I once told a man who cut in line at the post office that I would do to him what I did to the last SOB that tried to cut in front of me.  You should’ve seen the look on his face.  I bet that was the last time he tried something like that,” he continued.

Probably not, I thought, but responded, “Maybe.”  I shifted the awkward size package I was carrying to my other hip and wondered, Why in the world did you put me in line behind this guy, Lord?

“Would you like me to carry that for you up to the counter?” he asked me gently.

Suddenly I heard God whisper in a scream, I CARE.

My heart softened.  Not only did God see me, He cared enough to see the box I was carrying was heavy.  How much more did He see the other heavy things I was carrying?

In the midst of being told to wait on God, I realize how important it is to know that God has a providential plan.  I am trying to make a habit of remembering the characteristics of God that satan is trying to discredit.  God hasn't answered many of the questions I'm currently asking, but that doesn't mean He hasn't been answering prayer... 

There’s a girl who lives at Casa Hogar Douglas named Daniela who was diagnosed last month with Guillain-Barre Syndrome, a condition characterized by rapid onset paralysis.  For a few weeks all we could do was pray and hope that the paralysis would be reversed.  As the medical expenses mounted, and the realization set in that she would need a full time nurse to care for her once she was discharged from the hospital, it was easy to doubt God’s plan.  "Problem Solving Tallie" began to creep in and I was tempted to come up with man-made solutions for God-sized problems.  Thankfully, while God is rarely early, He is never late.  In the midst of the growing expenses, a check came in the mail in honor of a sponsor at Casa Hogar Douglas, and was designated for “Medical Purposes”.  The generous supporter had no idea what the home was dealing with, and how timely their gift was.  But God did.

And that part of the story doesn't even touch on the fact that the paralysis is reversing.  Daniela is expected to make a full recovery.  God cares. 

I say this as a reminder mostly to myself, but hopefully to anyone who reads this as well.  God sees the little and the big things in our lives.  He is working them out, and if we wait for Him, He will give us His solutions.  Will you settle for what you can come up with on your own, or will you wait on God? 

"It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak.  We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea.  We are far too easily pleased."  C.S. Lewis