The same question I was asking myself before I left for India is the one I continue to ask myself-- Why? Why did God send me there? The whole way to India, all I could do was guess as to the reason. Now that the trip is over, the pressure is on to have some answers. Reflecting back on the journey, it's not so much that I can't think of a reason why He sent me, but rather it's hard to put into words all the reasons. God did so much in my time there, and I know much of what happened deserves further processing. But again, here I lie, awake when the world around me sleeps, and real time updates sometimes trump pretty words.
He opened my eyes to a world I never knew existed. To a beautiful people whose culture is so rich and graceful. He allowed me to meet hundreds of children who live in conditions we would consider unlivable, children who don't own shoes, don't get enough to eat, and are completely forgotten by the world. He opened my eyes to the things that are happening in India spiritually, that cannot be seen with the human eye, but must be revealed by God. He helped me understand the gifts He has given me to see these things. He equipped me to use them for His glory. He showed me the unity we have as Christians, with people we have never known, and the ones we know so well. He pressed upon my heart to encourage the staff in India. To encourage them (and myself) to push on in faith and to remind them that we are not working for this life, but rather for the next. God sees it-- He sees it all. Pleasing Him is our only goal.
Each of these lessons has more than one story to give explanation. I hope to share them all with you, but for tonight, this is enough.
As I came home tonight, I breathed clean fresh air, arrived to a spotless house, brushed my teeth with water from a faucet, used an actual facility to go to the restroom, opened a pantry full of food to put more food in, and lay down to sleep in a comfortable bed. But at every step, I thought of Thirupathi. And Swathi. And Pavithra. And Shireesha. And Manoj. My heart longs to be back with them. To be the one to love and care for them. I'm needing God to remind me of my calling in Cincinnati. Inevitably, I believe He will. For now, He has me here. And I will walk with Him wherever He leads. But it can be hard coming home. Leaving your heart in another place never gets easier.
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