called.

In a staff meeting this week, our boss asked us a question that he wanted us to think about: “Why are you called to the role you are in?”

It’s a question that I don’t think about very often, but I believe it’s one that we need to remember.  I certainly remember being called.  At any moment of the day I would tell you that I am called.  But I don’t often remember why I’m called.

When I was 14, I took my first mission trip with Back2Back.  It was in the early days when Todd and Beth rented a house in the city and they packed 20 junior high kids in the two small rooms of their first floor.   I don’t remember all the details of that trip, but there are some things I will never forget. 

I remember the sense of urgency I had to go when I first heard the trip was being offered.  I remember buying one of those little throw away cameras for every day I would be there (and using all of them).  I remember barely sleeping the night before I left, and what I picked out to wear to the airport.  I’m not even sure why I was so passionate to go.  Never before had I given thought to abandoned children living in another country.  But I remember needing to go.  I needed to meet them. 

I remember arriving at Casa Hogar Douglas the first day we arrived and seeing Karla for the first time.  She was 3 years old and wore a matching red sweater/pantsuit outfit.  Come to think of it, that was all she wore that week.  Her face had lunch on it still and I saw lice for the first time crawling through her hair.  Every time she saw me she held her hands up for me to hold her and never wanted me to put her down.  She never actually cried, but her big dark eyes were so sad.  I held her close as much as I could, and when it was time to leave at the end of the week, I cried like the child that I was.

The night I returned home I remember sitting in my bed telling my dad about Karla as tears rolled down my cheeks and my heart ached.  I wanted to go back immediately.  Nothing else seemed to matter.

So I joined another church’s youth group, worked for my dad, and raised money to go back a few months later.  When I arrived at Douglas that first day, Karla wasn’t there.  At some point in the previous 6 months her mom had come back to get her.  As happy as I should have been for her, I was devastated at the thought of never seeing her again, and never having the chance to tell her how much I loved her.

Karla was the first of many to break my heart.  I could tell story after story and give you lists of names of the children God has broken my heart with over the last 15 years.  But every morning when I get to work, I look at a picture of Karla.  Attached to it is a note Todd wrote me when he gave the picture to me.  “Tallie, you have a great servant heart.  Don’t forget it.  Mr. G”

I know why God called me.  Hundreds of sponsors that I work with every day are desperate to stay in touch with a child they love, just like I was.  I get to help them continue to pour into one child’s life, and see the impact that it has on the children we serve.  That’s why I love every day I get to come to work.  That’s why God called me.