a confession.

I’m embarrassed at how easily I doubt God.  Pride tells me not to admit to it, but the truth is, this isn’t my first rodeo with pride either.

God is so good to us because He knows we are prone to forgetfulness and doubt.  He doesn’t get mad—instead He teaches us how to trust Him.  He tells us to remember the times He is faithful—to set up a reminder and to talk about it.  He doesn’t want us to live our lives worrying.  In fact, a variation of “fear not” is the most common phrase in the Bible.  God knows His people (He’s the one who made us afterall), and He knows the ways we struggle.  In the Old Testament, He told the Israelites over and over to talk about how He delivered them from slavery, and of the miracles He performed.  He wanted them to remember—not for His benefit, but for theirs.

I’m trying to make a habit of writing down the ways God is faithful.  I want to remember them in times of trouble, and when it seems He may not continue being faithful.  God isn’t an equation, and I can’t quite put Him in any box (no matter how big I try to make it).  He still requires I keep on believing Him.  It’s not an “I believed Him once, therefore I can move on.”  He wants me to go on believing Him.  We’re called to live lives of faith.

The faithfulness of His provision continues to be one that catches me by surprise.  If you’ve read my past blogs, I wrote once about how God came through with a monetary number that I needed in my support raising journey.  He came in right on target, exactly when I needed it.  It was difficult to ignore His hand in it all.

Yet as my second goal approached, I tended towards forgetfulness of His faithfulness.  I worried, I tried to come up with back-up plans, and frankly, I wasted my time.  Worrying is so engrained into my subconscious that when I chose to trust God and not worry—I felt guilty.  As if I were being careless by not worrying up a solution.  Anyone with me on that?  The lies of the enemy can find me on either side of the fence.

It shouldn’t come as a shock to you (although, it did to me), that God was faithful again.  My goal for financial support was 75% by October 31^st.  November 1^st, the calculations were in at 50.6% pledged in monthly support, 24.3% in special gifts.  The “coincidence” lie gets very quiet when numbers like that show up.

I tell you this to remind you: GOD IS FAITHFUL.  When it seems like He is, or when it seems like He isn’t—He is.  Remember His faithfulness when times are hard.  And talk about His faithfulness when He is.

“And those twelve stones, which they took out of the Jordan, Joshua set up at Gilgal. And he said to the people of Israel, “When your children ask their fathers in times to come, ‘What do these stones mean?’ then you shall let your children know, ‘Israel passed over this Jordan on dry ground.’ For the Lord your God dried up the waters of the Jordan for you until you passed over, as the Lord your God did to the Red Sea, which he dried up for us until we passed over, so that all the peoples of the earth may know that the hand of the Lord is mighty, that you may fear the Lord your God forever.”  Joshua 4:21-24